If only…….
If only I knew the last time I saw you was the last time I’d ever see you
I would have never left
If only I knew the last call was the last call
I would never have ended the call
If only I knew the last kiss was the last kiss
It would have lasted forever
If only I knew the last time we were together was the last time
I would have made it sweeter
If only you could have been what I needed
I would have stayed
If you could have been for me what you were for her
We could still be us
If only I were stronger
If only, if only……
Posted at 07:10 pm by
star82869
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J – I really doubt that you’ll ever see this, but I need to say this. I miss you more than you could ever know. Not a day has or goes by that I don’t think about you. I’ve tried calling you a few times, but you haven’t picked up. You reached out to me first this time. I know I made the choice to stay where I am, but I have my reasons why & they suck, but are valid. Please let me know if you can be my friend. As much as I miss all we had, I miss the friendship we had first. You were the best friend I ever had & I miss that more than you can know. Reply back with either what I was wearing the first time you kissed me or what my first concert was so I know it’s you.
Miss you more than you can know – S
Posted at 10:08 am by
star82869
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So i have a bit of a big problem. after a year of not speaking or just about not contact, we have spoken on the phone twice. if the boy was not home for summer break, i am sure it would have been more. there were so many times i really wanted to reach out to him over the past year. a day has not gone by that i haven't thought about him at least once.
i came so close to running to him around christmas, but knew i had to stick around to keep the boy safe, after finding out the boy touched ds sr's stepson in an inappropriate way, because his dad, well to say, went ballistic is a gross understatement. i totally had a way out & anyone knowing my past would agree that leaving would have been TOTALLY justified. but i didn't. i stayed. not a whole lot changed. okay we have seen ds sr once since he dropped the bomb & i had to tell more people, including the boy & ds dr about what happened to me when i was little which i hate. it's my issue which i have dealt with on my own.
Anyway more later, i'm tired now.
Posted at 09:53 pm by
star82869
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